This blog was a result of some hours.. hmmm... no, some days of thinking on one of my friend's advice :
"Give some space to your friends".
I donno whether this was what she meant when she said that to me. Anyways, what i understood is "To be more close have more space in between".
i know, in the physical context that statement has a huge fallacy in it.. but in the context of friendships.. it is true.. at least to me, it was.
I always thought space is a bad thing, specifically speaking, when it is with friends, coz i believed that it will increase the distance between me and my friends.
But one of my close friend really taught me its relevance in this context. She always insisted me to give this so called "SPACE" to every friendship which I initially build up and then grow up. The moment i heard it from her for the first time, a sudden gush of feelings filled my heart, my vision became blurred, later understood that the eyes were already filled with tears, but somewhere in my mind i was trying to believe her words.
It was really tough, tough like anything, to accept this new concept of space. But, at the end of the day, on the way back home, i knew, this friendship world is really a hard one for somebody like me to survive. So i need to accept this, at least to understand this, as it is the only solution i have in front of me to avoid becoming stressed on some silly issues and taking it out on my beloved family.
The most important thing i will like to do always is to be self-aware. Like, my turn-ons and turn-offs, situations in which i can become stressed and what all things i am going to speak to my friends. As far as i know myself, i dont like to hide things from my family and my best friends. I never think twice while speaking to them. All because i believe that even if i make some mistake, they are out to help me, advice me. If i am aware of these things, and take care of these things while mingling with them, i think i will be the most loving friend within my friend circle.
Another important thing is that I should never ever try to lose my self-identity. Let my friend have a life of their own. Once i am ready to accept that, i am sure, the relations will become more smooth and the bonding will become more tough. But sometimes my mind pops up a question- "Will the bonding get stronger, as you bring space in between??"
I donno..yup..i simply donno.. But i started out saying that my mind is trying to believe her words. And at this point of time, i dont wanna change that belief ..
To be frank, you know, my problem was that i always believed that my best friend is someone who loves to be around me 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.. (That sounds really rude...rit!!) But the truth behind this belief was that i always wanted to cherish each and every minute i spend with them.
I never thought anything out-of-the-box. Whether he/she is missing their friends? Whether I break my plans, or not even make them at all, or even be a reason for my friend to drop his/her plans?? All this was because I thought he/she is my best friend? So, they should be comfortable with me.. And i never even probed through them to find if they are comfortable with me.. are they in their comfortable zones??(I know.. its a big mistake, rit!!)
Ya.. this is it.. these are just a few symptoms which show that i need to give some space in my relationships, to my friends.
Let me stop this.. like she used to say.. i think i am making the whole "SPACE" (friendship) thing complicated..
Somewhere i have read "Absence makes the heart grow fonder". If i can never give space to my best friends, how will they ever miss me?? (Wow!! i donno how this idea came out..)
When i give some space to my relationships, it actually avoids them.. even me, from Asphyxiation(oops!! i just meant suffocation..:-)), and it also keep the relation refreshed and ongoing.
As a last word what i would like to always remember is that "Friendship doesn’t mean I am taking on a person as if he/she is now my shadow."
Hope this was what she meant..
"Give some space to your friends".
I donno whether this was what she meant when she said that to me. Anyways, what i understood is "To be more close have more space in between".
i know, in the physical context that statement has a huge fallacy in it.. but in the context of friendships.. it is true.. at least to me, it was.
I always thought space is a bad thing, specifically speaking, when it is with friends, coz i believed that it will increase the distance between me and my friends.
But one of my close friend really taught me its relevance in this context. She always insisted me to give this so called "SPACE" to every friendship which I initially build up and then grow up. The moment i heard it from her for the first time, a sudden gush of feelings filled my heart, my vision became blurred, later understood that the eyes were already filled with tears, but somewhere in my mind i was trying to believe her words.
It was really tough, tough like anything, to accept this new concept of space. But, at the end of the day, on the way back home, i knew, this friendship world is really a hard one for somebody like me to survive. So i need to accept this, at least to understand this, as it is the only solution i have in front of me to avoid becoming stressed on some silly issues and taking it out on my beloved family.
The most important thing i will like to do always is to be self-aware. Like, my turn-ons and turn-offs, situations in which i can become stressed and what all things i am going to speak to my friends. As far as i know myself, i dont like to hide things from my family and my best friends. I never think twice while speaking to them. All because i believe that even if i make some mistake, they are out to help me, advice me. If i am aware of these things, and take care of these things while mingling with them, i think i will be the most loving friend within my friend circle.
Another important thing is that I should never ever try to lose my self-identity. Let my friend have a life of their own. Once i am ready to accept that, i am sure, the relations will become more smooth and the bonding will become more tough. But sometimes my mind pops up a question- "Will the bonding get stronger, as you bring space in between??"
I donno..yup..i simply donno.. But i started out saying that my mind is trying to believe her words. And at this point of time, i dont wanna change that belief ..
To be frank, you know, my problem was that i always believed that my best friend is someone who loves to be around me 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.. (That sounds really rude...rit!!) But the truth behind this belief was that i always wanted to cherish each and every minute i spend with them.
I never thought anything out-of-the-box. Whether he/she is missing their friends? Whether I break my plans, or not even make them at all, or even be a reason for my friend to drop his/her plans?? All this was because I thought he/she is my best friend? So, they should be comfortable with me.. And i never even probed through them to find if they are comfortable with me.. are they in their comfortable zones??(I know.. its a big mistake, rit!!)
Ya.. this is it.. these are just a few symptoms which show that i need to give some space in my relationships, to my friends.
Let me stop this.. like she used to say.. i think i am making the whole "SPACE" (friendship) thing complicated..
Somewhere i have read "Absence makes the heart grow fonder". If i can never give space to my best friends, how will they ever miss me?? (Wow!! i donno how this idea came out..)
When i give some space to my relationships, it actually avoids them.. even me, from Asphyxiation(oops!! i just meant suffocation..:-)), and it also keep the relation refreshed and ongoing.
As a last word what i would like to always remember is that "Friendship doesn’t mean I am taking on a person as if he/she is now my shadow."
Hope this was what she meant..
